(c) 2015 by Steve Martaindale
“When the album that is life finally reaches the end, wouldn’t it be nice to keep that record spinning for eternity?”
No, that’s not my question. It’s the lead sentence on the Website of the UK-based company And Vinyly. And, once you get past the heavy imagery, you find it means exactly what it says.
Succinctly, have your ashes shipped to these folks and they will press them into a vinyl record.
Listen, one could go on for quite a while digging up a sarcophagus filled with clever wordplay, but let’s cut straight to the meat of this topic.
What would you have recorded on your remains?
I suspect a popular answer would be the voice of the deceased. This might be done by survivors who use some favorite audio memories or the yet-to-be deceased might make his or her own special recording.
Again, we could go off on all broad list of possibilities there. Here’s one that sounds like fun: a wealthy man records his last will and testament, pointedly explaining why he cut out his niece or why his May-December bride deserves it all.
(Speaking of wealth, while the cost is not cheap, it’s not prohibitive when considered in line with traditional funeral costs these days. The Website gives a base price of £3,000, currently $3,750 U.S.)
What would you have recorded on your permanent record? Rather than delving into the personal issues of what you would like to say from beyond the grave and to whom, I’m thinking of music. I mean, that’s why vinyl records were invented, right?
So, where do your tastes run?
Bob Dylan’s “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.”
Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind.”
Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Maybe something more upbeat?
“Seasons in the Sun” by Terry Jacks.
“I’ll Fly Away” by Hank Williams.
“Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen.
Perhaps something with which you’ve identified, such as your college fight song, the service song from your branch of the military or “America the Beautiful.”
Classical music? Salsa? A German polka band? The soundtrack from the movie “Drumline”?
As for me, I’ve been telling my wife for years now I think she should play Jimmy Buffett’s “He Went to Paris” at my service.
She might … possibly … maybe … could be coming around on that, but when I mentioned the records, let’s just say that’s not likely to happen.
What’s going on your record?