Best plan ever

For the first time since Donald Trump’s plan fell apart Nov. 8, things are beginning to look up for the man shocked to find being president more difficult than being a billionaire.

When, somehow, he managed to win the presidency despite being outvoted by almost 3 million, he was forced to abandon his strategy to ride his defeat to a fun-filled pastime of addressing raucous and adoring fans, writing outrageous books (or, rather, paying others to write them) and maybe starting his own fake news television network.

If that sounds familiar, I wrote about it a month prior to the election. Like most people – including Trump – I didn’t think there were enough suckers to put him into office. (Of course, I more than once prior to the election expressed my confidence in American voters. I was wrong then, too.)

Warning: Just to be clear, this is all my theory. Unlike those sites where Trump gets his “news,” I do not present this as established fact.

So, Trump stumbled into the Oval Office and immediately found it not to his liking … not the office, the White House or the job. Almost instantly, he began putting into effect his next plan.

And it’s a great plan, many people say the best plan ever.

Trump likes to be first, grandest, biggest. Being president puts one in an exclusive club, but there are 43 others there … kind of crowded.

What if he were impeached while president? Two already sit in that category.

But what if he were impeached and subsequently forced from office? That’s perfect. Not only has it never happened (thanks to Richard Nixon’s resignation), but there’s a decent chance it will never happen again.

Think of it: During the nation’s quincentenary in 2276, school children will be reminded that among the 103 presidents to date, only one has been forcibly removed from office, Donald J. Drumpf. (I have no idea how or when that name change comes about.)

On what do I base this supposition? Look around you. What better explains the things he has done.

A few examples might begin with the outrageous claims about crowd size at his inauguration. Seriously, what responsible person does that?

Then there are holding his businesses much too close, placing his family in high positions, pissing off most of our allies, appointing ridiculously unqualified people to top spots, profiting from foreign states, making every public speech about him, making baseless charges of Obama spying on him, playing golf every weekend after ridiculing Obama for playing occasionally, tossing missiles around while threatening war, calling for unconstitutional restraints on the media, firing the top cop who was investigating the White House … and so on. You could even add that it’s upsetting anytime he tells the truth because it throws us all off-stride.

Finally, however, there seems to be promising movement. Things are happening quickly and I believe Trump is pleased with what he sees, though he certainly cannot let that show.

When he’s kicked out of the White House, if he’s not immediately relocated to prison (or maybe even if he is), he can return to his original plan of making a career out of being the abused, rabble-rousing outsider.

Then he will be happy again.

But he won’t act like it.

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Of course, maybe he’ll lose interest before then.

Tony Schwartz, co-author of “Trump: The Art of the Deal,” told CNN the president cannot stand the idea of losing and will find a way to resign and proclaim it a victory.